Childhood Memory (Part 2)

Remember the incidents from your childhood?

Here, I am going to share one more of my childhood experience which comes from my mom. This is the second instalment of the series “Childhood Memories” and I think most of the people reading this blog have gone through this incident.

I am the second child of my parents and the statement itself makes me obliged to do anything and everything my mother, father or elder brother asks me to do. It’s about a winter morning. I used to run for my school early morning around 6 O’clock. My mother was preparing lunch for me. For a child of around 10, it’s really difficult to get ready all by himself. Because I have a brother who is pretty good with the “art of living” and learnt everything at a very little age, my parents thought I would be another genius born in their house. Unfortunately, they expected a little more out of me as I came out as a dumb kid who believed in the slip-on shoes and flip-flops because he never really understood how to tie his own shoelaces.

My father is a little strict person he wants everything perfect, effortless, and he never puts an effort in that, neither does his elder son. But for me, it was little tough to manage the knot of the tie, a creaseless uniform and proper black shining shoes for my early morning school. The reasons and impossibilities never entertained my father. But who will tell the cosy morning that I don’t need more sleep? I need to step out of my bed-sheet and have to run for school. As usual like any other morning, I was late for school, everything was in chaos. Somehow I managed to iron my school uniform, wear it in the best possible way I could, knot my tie, took the blazer in hand and put it on the couch near the exit door, picked my shoes and stepped in them. A perfect start to a day I thought, but, it wasn’t possible for obvious reasons. My mother was doing some dishes in the kitchen and so asked my father to take my lunch box from the stand and put it in my school bag. My father came holding my lunch box and the first thing he did after putting it into my school bag was scanning me from top to bottom and then bottom to top with a blank face and then shouted “ain’t you able to bend and polish your shoes or your mother will do it?”  At that time, I didn’t have the privilege of giving an ‘oh fuck!’ reaction neither did I know about it.

I went blank for a second and then shouted “mom where is the shoe polish and brush?” because she was the only one to whom I can talk like this or can show what I go through when I am not able to do certain things. Though I got a “how horrifying and dumb this kid is” expression from my father and then he left me in the trouble. A second later, my mother shouted back from the kitchen and said “It’s there only, in the cupboard beneath the staircase”. I went to the staircase and after 2minutes of searching in the cupboard and it was more than the time enough to check a 4*6 cupboard with three shelves but I didn’t find it. I again shouted in frustration “mom I can’t find it, please come and check,” and my mother replied by shouting on me with an exponential power of her voice. That’s what you get when you’re dumb alone in a group of smart people. “Get it by yourself, it would be there, yesterday itself I put it there” she shouted and “these three men will never let me sip my tea in peace” she added. I tried to find it for one more minute but didn’t and moved to drawing room in frustration where my mother was sitting with her tea in her hands and listening to her morning bhajans. “Mom is it more important for you to sit and listen to this usual bhajan, please get me the shoe brush,” I said and took a breath. I was expecting another taunt in the daily dose but my mother stood and came to me with her cup in her one hand. She put her other hand on my head and adored my hair and it wasn’t love at all, it was messing my hair which I tried to make good. I don’t know what has happened to my mother but she took me to the staircase and pointed out in between the side railing of the fourth staircase just above the cupboard and said, “see here it is, can’t you see,” I was upset with that. “How could she do this to me? She told me that it was in the cupboard but it wasn’t.” I thought. I conveyed this to her at the same moment. It was ruthless for me. My mother smiled at me and said, “I asked you to look in the cupboard and it doesn’t mean you can’t look here and there.

It was right there, in front of your eyes but you were trying to find it where it was instructed to you. You would have used your brain when the second time I asked you to look there and would have probably got It.” she made my hair with her fingers and asked me to polish my shoes fast and then she followed me to the bus stop. At that instant, it was really tough for me to understand what my mother was trying to say but now I understand it.

That’s how humans are, we have a particular set of instructions in our head on which we run our lives. We got it from our experiences and the life lessons people taught us in our life. Our present is totally biased towards our past and we notice things and observe them with the ability which we got from our past. We try to find happiness in the places where we have been taught or heard that it is there. We go straight or what we want and I guess, that’s how it must work and we never try to find it in the places which are still unnoticed, which is different from our past observations. It’s right in front of our eyes and probably looking at us smiling, or laughing on our disability of not finding it. But don’t you think it’s bad? It’s bad how we try to look for things only in the places we thought we could find it, in the person in whom we thought it’s hidden, how could we be so sure about it, how could we manage to get it the definite place where nothing is definite.

Probably, this is the reason a lot of us are running behind people and things which don’t have what they want, most of them don’t even know what they want but they are still running. One could wait and think what they want and where they will get it. One can’t find it even after searching for life in the empty cupboard just because they didn’t try to notice it above it or somewhere else. A lot of us try to look again and again in the same empty cupboard for what they want. It’s dumb; it’s dumb to look in an empty space again. Better try to find things in the uncertainty of life. In the places, one couldn’t try to notice. Find it in yourself, find it by yourself. Because there are chances that you may not find someone to tell you that you are running a blind race with enlightened hopes. Figure it out.

Thanks for reading

Udit Gour

#life #memories #childhood #short #story #experience #shortstory

Childhood Memory (part-1)

Remember the incidents from your childhood? Here’s one of my childhood memories.

It’s the story of me as a foodie and my beautiful mother. My mom is a dexterous cook and in winters she used to cook carrot-based sweet dessert pudding (Gajar Ka Halwa) for me. And it’s a heavenly experience to eat it after all it’s one of my favourite dishes. Any which way, it’s a mouth-watering dish and with mom’s love it’s just inexpressibly amazing. (maa ke hath ka khana ab bs khate rehjana).

As a jolly kid, I used to eat it before it came to the dining table. Even while it was still cooking I used to go into the kitchen and eat it quietly. At least for the sake of tasting I used to be there, right!

One day, when Mom was cooking it she asked me to stand near the kitchen counter and stir it after every 5minutes and she strictly instructed me not to even touch it as few of my father’s colleagues were visiting us that day. But was it possible for me not to taste it? Of course, not! My hands reached the spoon and I ate a spoon full of uncooked pudding and guess what? What it did to my mouth? It burnt my mouth but it was tasty. So, I took one more spoon full of pudding and this time after waiting for a little time to make it less warm I ate it and I did this for several times and as my mom reached the pudding was about to be cooked and she found the quantity half of what she thought it could be.

“You ate it again even after I warned you,” my mom shouted in anger.

“But mom I just tasted it,” I whispered.

“Don’t lie to me, I saw you eating,” she exclaimed.

“You weren’t here mom,” I said and smile.

“And you just found guilty my son,” she said and smiled.

“Mom, I didn’t,” I said and tried to make a puppy face.

“It’s ok, son. But you will get punishment and as I just had words with your father and he said his friends aren’t coming today now you have to help me finish it.”

I smiled and hugged my mother and we both ate it after dinner.

You were thinking it isn’t a big deal and I must be happy about that; of course. Alas! there’s a twist my friend.

Let’s Just get back to the time when it happened.

“You weren’t here mom,” I said and smile.

“And you just found guilty my son,” she said and smiled.

“Mom, I didn’t,” I said and tried to make a puppy face.

“It’s ok, son. But you will get punishment and you won’t get any more of it to eat tonight, not even a spoon and as I just had word with the maid and she isn’t coming so you have to help me with all these utensils.” She said and left for the hall. Despite trying hard to convince my mom I got a little bowl of pudding to eat. And my half of the time was spent with the dishes and bowls while all the people in my house watched TV.

You must be thinking, it is so minuscule but you didn’t see the message coming there. You get things right in your life, things to live happily with, people to go out, the ones care for you, always be there for you, the ones who never complain and if they do they explain, the people who always forgive you and never notice your harshness over them and even if they do, they understand. They always uplift you in your life, and this is all you need and all of these ingredients make life heavenly delicious. The ones who helps you get over animosity, sometimes slowly and completely or sometimes just by distracting you from the unpleasant taste of your mouth. You may find them while tasting all the eye-catching food, in between the best cuisines, charmingly designed starters, in mouth-watering desserts and also when you just tasted the bitter lemon, when you just got the chilly stuck on your tongue, or when you ate a rotten tomato. But what you do? In your good times you forget to care about them and when you find them during the worst of your life you take them for granted.

You start consuming them even before they are completely able to heal you, even before they become the best for you, before getting the real taste, you start making them the rest.

Sometimes not being in the knowledge of their taste or sometimes just to avoid the bitterness you are going through in your life or trying to kill it, you start consuming all the sweetness and maybe you get hurt initially but there are some cases where you should let them get them prepared, where they come to their real complete deliciousness but there are chances that you might lose time, and you might or might not get the chance to taste the delightful them. I regretted that night, not getting to eat my favourite dish, but I learnt one of the most generous lessons of life.

We all get into the situations like this and it is ok to balance the bitterness with sweetness, hatred with love, sadness with happiness, good with bad and it actually helps us in maintaining our life but it’s not ok when even after consuming all the good things in our life but still getting stuck to the bad.

I know it’s hard to get over the bitterness but even the sugar has the tendency to get dissolved and you can enjoy it only when you get over the other. And the best thing is that it’s in your hands what you like to choose after all, you only set your priority.

Share your views.

Thanks for reading.

Udit gour (@udit.gour)

Strangersthought.wordpress.com

#childhood

#memories

#experiences

#motivation

#story

The Mysteries of Realisation {Part 4}

Hello, people.

How have you been all these days?

I know it is really an undisciplined behavior and I am really sorry for that. I am not getting time to write. Precisely, I am not getting time to post the write-ups. So, in case, if you were waiting for any other part of “The mysteries of realisation” your wait is over, I am here with the fourth installment. Hope, you all like it. Also, I request you to tell me about how you feel about the series. What are your realisations? It will help me a lot to write more on the same.

I know those who are reading this blog will think about me like a crap. But if you don’t, believe me. This is real and you do not belong to this particularly.

How do we make sure that the people around us are good? Good enough to trust. Good enough to rely on. Good enough to believe. Good enough that they will always with you. Ok! Not always but the time they will be with you, you people will enjoy for sure. They will never judge you wrong. They will know you. And here, I am not talking about understanding; it’s a far cry, but knowing is something we do need and the people around us should know. We should have mutual knowledge. And if they know you pretty well, they know your good and bad, don’t you think they should have the knowledge that you haven’t done anything wrong and even in case if you did, they know it and they know it was a coincidence and you were right at the first place, and even if not this, you can be trusted to be harmless at least. And what if even after being the right person they leave you with shitty reasons and sometimes without any reason?

I always used to say that there are the consequences of coincidences which always makes you but, there are people to destroy it, to destroy you at least mentally. I always suggest to learn from the coincidences but you should not be misunderstood by others. You don’t need to ruin things, you don’t need to play fool. There are enough people to do that for you. 

Once someone asked me why do we need people? I didn’t have had the answer to it but from my experiences, I said, “We don’t need people.” At the personal stage, we really don’t need people but we need bonds, who can understand us, who can add up the joy to our lives, with whom even the dead moments feels alive. Perhaps, we need people to acknowledge us, to acknowledge what we do. But still, I don’t have an appropriate answer for that question. If someone has please do tell me.

They always taught me to socialize and every time I did, I found it was better to be isolated. At least there’s no one to bother you with their nasty thoughts.

Being a stranger is better than being someone they know but don’t realise the virtuous.

The fourth mystery of realisation is people. They are a real enigma. It’s like you need to reach the black hole to discover its force. And the day you will find its existence you will probably be drowned in it leaving your existence back. No, they are not that attractive but there are some disruptive. And some are like the sun enlighting your days and some like the stars and the moon illuminating the darkness of your life.  I hope you do have good people around you. Don’t lose them in any case. People are one of the most precious entities you can have. Respect them. This blog doesn’t have an ending but I hope you will tolerate it. Please write your comments about the series and the blog. You can also DM me on Instagram.

 

FRIENDS

Who are friends?

In the varying world, which changes every microsecond.

The people changes every single second, and heartbreaks happen every single minute. Although so many craps happen, but there are species, who never change for you. The one who always been there whenever you needed any sort of help.

Everybody gets high sometimes, they are people with whom you enjoy every moment of your life.

The one makes you happy. Whenever you feel low.

The one, you can trust.

The one who never judge.

The one who cares about you.

The one who respects your thoughts.

The one who fights with you.

The one who tells the truth doesn’t matter it’s sweet or bitter.

They are friends.

Not the one, who just use you as a toy.

Not the one, who leaves you when your life gets fucked-up.

Not the one, who mislead you.

Not the one, who came to you only when they get time.

They are different people. Don’t see them as your friend. They are just the disturbance in your life. They utter the false presence of theirs when they behave like they don’t care. Believe them, they really don’t.

Already you are facing so many rubbish. You don’t need more to add.

Just respect the one you have. Love them. Care about them. And live happily.

 

 

 

The mysteries of Realisation(Part 3)

Hello people, how you have been these days? Sorry, I couldn’t write you from a long span. Time is an issue and that’s why I am here with the third part of “The mysteries of Realisation”

Hope you all will like it because it’s important.

Do you know the importance of things? Of course, Yes! If you didn’t get them at the right time. You recognise the importance of yours when you get wrong things happens at the wrong time. And this recognition is worst. Knowing the situations better than what your little brain can handle is not a sign of maturity. It is just a shit you get from your experiences. Sometimes, I think where every time I think what I haven’t seen the things? What if I realised it later that my little brain isn’t enough to grab the things which are ready to engross me in them. You guys know it very well, everyone has a story and some have stories. The stories of theirs, the stories of others, some keep them alive in mind where some simply die with them. I guess I don’t belong to both of them. While writing the first chapter of “The Mysteries of Realisations” I thought of writing a lot on the topic. I had it all. The topic, the content. But it was the time when I got a new realisation which resisted me to write. It was “Time.”

Everything happens because they are meant to happen. I believed in that philosophy and it helped me a lot in my survival. But everything happens, not only because they are meant to but also because it’s the right time to get challenged. Every time, when you will be high (of course not on weeds) there will be something stabbing you to dive down. In the best time, you will find the worst and I guess it’s the labyrinth of life I always talk about. I have heard so many talking about their bad time. No, it doesn’t mean they never had a good time. But it’s the time which never affects. You can get a conclusion from there. It is: happiness never affects you.

Meanwhile, sadness twitch you to attempt things everyone has heard of! Time taught me a lot, and now it’s the time I don’t want to see more. Maybe it isn’t time’s fault but somewhere something happened at the same time it shouldn’t be.

But what should I do with the realisation of the wrong time? I have had the same feeling for a good time too. When I was on the way to get it, I got tangled in my thoughts. It always goes the same.

“Darkness isn’t the reason of my fear anymore, happiness is.”

Me: Something is going to be good.

Time: Oh, wait! Let me show you the worse you can handle.

ME: But… I am able to handle it. Oh! Clever.

Time: Wait I will give you more threats in the meantime.

ME: But I can’t live through it.

Time: Then! Do die.

Me: Thank you made it simple for me. 

Time: Oh! Sorry. I won’t let you die. Held this string of life and every time you will think of dying I will jerk you, coward.  

Time isn’t simple but if it would be we people ain’t remember it. So, let’s have what time wants and let’s challenge it. We can’t give up to get our beautiful destinations. Doesn’t matter what time let us see. Doesn’t matter what time let us hear. Doesn’t matter how cursedly it plays with are. We can get what we want. We will get it for sure.

Don’t give up in a mid. Wait! Even the earth wait till the evening to meet her destination at the horizon. And if there are clouds try to shear them and look, or wait for the next day, after rains you will find it and you will get it with a new glory.

Time is one of the prized things we have. But everyone face the hard one; sooner or later. Some simply go through it and some go through it but they take a part of a hard time with them. No one knows, what’s going in someone’s life. We should respect what is coming out of the time. Can’t we help each other in growing or is it important grow alone? No, alone doesn’t mean sick of solitude, it means being aloof with senses of cruelty. And hope isn’t the bean of my bag when it comes to other people. I can’t expect them to be good enough and I am sure the phase we are leaving and where we are leading to isn’t good for hoping. So, better we don’t build any hope. But we can build our self. We can build our self to handle the time in our fist. We can try to emancipate our bad stories not as an experience but as a healthy tale of knowledge. We can try to help other in their bad time. And helping doesn’t only mean giving them a hand or a shoulder, it can be by simply greeting them, it can be by that simply enthusiastic “HEY, How are you?”

We don’t need efforts and I have learned this that even a simple greeting can put a smile on someone’s face. I know, it’s hard. But it pays the efforts off. Even you will find a joy, doesn’t matter how bitter your situations are. Try it. We can build a healthy environment and we really need it in the meantime. Laughing on others by their worse time may give you a joy in that moment but a greeting will give you a friend and joy for life. I know Life is uncertain, you can’t be good every time but “don’t let the uncertainty of your thoughts affect people and relations.”

When it comes to the uncertainty; it is unconfined. So does the time. We live in an uncertain world so why don’t we challenge it with the uncertainty of our thoughts. I know, an uncertain mind is near to curse but there are mystic things which can be used in a manner to get the life. We can be unpredictable for the time. We can amuse with it. But you need to control the uncertainty in a positive manner. Even the best magic can kill the sorcerous if uncontrolled.

Don’t ruin the time. Hope you didn’t while reading this. All the best! keep Shinning.

The Mysteries of Realisations

Hello People, it’s been a long time since I posted my last blog. “The Mysteries of Realisations” is a mystery of stranger’s life.

And it happened! It was not a poetry I wrote for someone who doesn’t even exist,
It was not a thought I got in the middle of my ways,
It wasn’t a philosophy I created or learned for myself,
It wasn’t the feeling I got for someone,
It wasn’t for someone I know,
It wasn’t like it was seeming. It was a mystery and better a mystery for the mysterious one where I am the mysterious one. I didn’t know that it will take me so high that I will forget the deepness but I didn’t know it either that it will make me fall and touch the profundity and yet it wasn’t core because as someone told me once “it is better to be on the surface.” It was a surface indeed but can you guess the deepness if you will catch the profundity on the surface?
The way it touched, hatred me, my every thought which was indeed for me was turning wrong, I lied for once then twice then I guess it became a hobby. Each time they asked or argued I simply lied and then they started getting it in the way it was seeming; again a wrong one. My mysteries were not enough that I made my thoughts more mysterious. I didn’t get it when it happened. Well, no one gets it when it happens so I was no different.
It was about the darkness I fought for.
It was about the sun I drowned for.
It was about the rays I tried to fetch and it was about the light; the love.
I tried, I tried it harder and harder. I don’t know what is wrong but I too have longings for light, the one people are making a mystery. I know you won’t get it and how will you get it is the biggest thing. I won’t tell you, and you will never ask me. See how amazing it is. There was a thought in my bio which says “you don’t know me but you’re about to” and it was there for quite a long time then there came the light, the light of socialisation and cherishing and being cherished so I changed it and it became “you don’t know me but you’re about to and once you will know me you will love too;” desperate indeed. But I knew and I know there are things I can bet you will love.
I laughed a lot when the realisation of life kissed me again. Moron was I. Things happens and it is really good to be socialised but it’s better to be in the dark because there are no longings and as the light rays get you the way to the source of life it starts hurting. I know offence and the better half you know and if you don’t, you will discover it by yourself because you can’t get it if it doesn’t happen to you. A great saying. But sometimes life teaches you a lot and a lot more than you can’t even think and it’s better to know but there comes my point “Realisation.”
The day you will realise the things, the day you will get knowledge about life, the day when you will see the real truth, it would be the last day of your life. And the real decay starts from the day you get acknowledged by the world. And the knowledge in some ways and better I can say in many ways outrages you, your kindness, your humanity, your attitude, your surrounding and the worse, it outrages your soul because everything comes from a soul and you start collecting the mistakes in your soul where the mistakes was there in the mystic world. And same I did but thanks to god I always have some courage hidden in the corners that always help me out from the lights of darkness. See, obsessed with my darkness. But I don’t love darkness neither I am used to it. I just have the realisation and as I said “realisation” it sucks. So, I changed my bio again with the realisation and it became “you don’t know me and you will never.” Because I am a stranger and there are things even mysterious to me and those are those I can’t write down here. And still, I am on the surface.

“With the realisation but with the courage too,
It’s all about the longings for that one you always try to find in cue,
It’s not about the darkness you live in,
It’s about the light you fetch, without burning your hands,
It’s not about getting cold blooded,
It’s about having the realisation of life and walking leaving the walls behind,
Because you are unstoppable and you can’t get fade.”

The more you will know the lesser you will live and if it’s so my doom’s day not so far (self-obsession)
With each and every realisation of life, you will find yourself nearer to the death because it’s the labyrinth of life and opposite attracts.

This is the first installment of the series “the mysteries of realisations.” The next blog will be published on next Saturday night. Till then, keep shining.

Yet I am confused

Hello, people. The stranger is here with a confused, a bit strange and a bit weird blog.
It started when I was in 6th. For the first time, I have made a science model.
Most of you guys judged me with my first sentence that how normal I am talking everyone could have done this. Yes, you all are right. There was a science model presentation for which my project didn’t get the appreciation either. I was supposed to be sad and I was. For a kid like me who rarely talk with people, it was quite unbearable but there was someone who was standing like a monolith. Who supported me through whole my journey. He was my dad. That day he told me one thing I remember the exact, it was, ‘we never fail son, we only win or get experience’. It was very deep thought for the kid studying in 6th standard. For the time, I managed to run through the time. The very next year again the competition held again my model was not selected but this time it was like normal for me to understand that there are so many people who stand above your life. Quite demotivating line but ok for the situation. Next year, again I created a model and as the last two years the thing I got was the failure but this I weren’t motivated nor demotivated, I just evolved myself that where the model is lacking. There is something which always leads me to the failure and what I found was shocking.
I failed every time because the thing I created was unique, it was enormous, complex for people and clearly not something mere. So, next time when I started working on a new project I tried to make it simple and as per the normal guidelines created by our respected freaking teachers but this time I was out from the competition because the category in which I was presenting the project was not the part of competition anymore. It took me four years to understand why I have got failed every time.
In 10th, finally, I got a chance to present my project from my school. In this attempt, I reached the maximum level of competition which was the national level science competition and secured the 2nd position there. I could be the first but there was an issue I can’t tell you right now.
If you are reached here, probably, you were thinking why this guy is spreading shit about his life. So, here I tell you my point. It took me 4 years and more to decide and clarify that I belong to the science stream. Science is my passion. I love to create, believe in practical. Yes, I do it today also. With average grades, I passed my 12th and opt for mechanical engineering.
In between those two years of life. I changed completely. A lot of stuff I have gone through. As a normal, I faced almost every situation sometimes softly sometimes hardly but it changed me again. It took me four years to select my loving stream and in 2years I got a new thing to be in. It was management and literature. I started taking part in and as managing body in events, curricular etc. I started reading novels. It was a new thing for me and I was enjoying it. As I reached the second stage I needed to decide for the next step. Which carrier do I choose? Should I prepare for GATE, CAT, GRE, GMAT, IES, etc. or should I do the thing I love the most? Again I needed to discriminate between two things management and literature.
Options always make your life simpler but in my case I want it to be précised and clear. I don’t like options but life always creates. Not everyone gets options in life. Not everyone gets an opportunity to choose what they want to do.
But it’s always difficult to choose between your priorities where you love two things the same.
And yet I am confused.

Colors of life

Hey guys, after a long span of time stranger is here with a new poem “COlORS of LIFE” 

Looking at the sky wishing for my angel I scorched my eyes by the tensed light of the sun…

When I woke I found myself tangled in the blue,

In the dearth of joy, I started looking for the red love…

No green in the life but behaving like the dove…

Engraving for the food 

I found Black and got banished for forbidden fruit…

Shaping the path again, I fall down to the earth. 

Kissed the dust and felt the gray…rising up after the failure I found the indigo.

It filled me with the zeal and powered me to let my falls go.. . .

While trying to fly, the shine bleached my eyes often. . .

But as the cloud appeared the darkness of shadow made it soften. 

Like the yellow, they supported me in my rise… 

Like a drastic thought of solitude, never to materialize.”

Description: It is a story of a bird who wish for his angel to come to him and adore him but while looking he faces the tormenting shine of sun which burn his eyes. He found himself in tantrum and sadness but with a desire of love. There was no greenery near him from which he can fulfill his life. Things he founds were not worthy enough. He didn’t give up and started looking for a path but he loses the battle again and touched the ground. Again sadness kissed him hard. He lost his small wings but he was determined to live and as get motivation from the shadows of cloud he founds solace and with a new zeal he starts trying to find out the reason for life. It is just a thought of aloofness.