Childhood Memory (Part 2)

Remember the incidents from your childhood?

Here, I am going to share one more of my childhood experience which comes from my mom. This is the second instalment of the series “Childhood Memories” and I think most of the people reading this blog have gone through this incident.

I am the second child of my parents and the statement itself makes me obliged to do anything and everything my mother, father or elder brother asks me to do. It’s about a winter morning. I used to run for my school early morning around 6 O’clock. My mother was preparing lunch for me. For a child of around 10, it’s really difficult to get ready all by himself. Because I have a brother who is pretty good with the “art of living” and learnt everything at a very little age, my parents thought I would be another genius born in their house. Unfortunately, they expected a little more out of me as I came out as a dumb kid who believed in the slip-on shoes and flip-flops because he never really understood how to tie his own shoelaces.

My father is a little strict person he wants everything perfect, effortless, and he never puts an effort in that, neither does his elder son. But for me, it was little tough to manage the knot of the tie, a creaseless uniform and proper black shining shoes for my early morning school. The reasons and impossibilities never entertained my father. But who will tell the cosy morning that I don’t need more sleep? I need to step out of my bed-sheet and have to run for school. As usual like any other morning, I was late for school, everything was in chaos. Somehow I managed to iron my school uniform, wear it in the best possible way I could, knot my tie, took the blazer in hand and put it on the couch near the exit door, picked my shoes and stepped in them. A perfect start to a day I thought, but, it wasn’t possible for obvious reasons. My mother was doing some dishes in the kitchen and so asked my father to take my lunch box from the stand and put it in my school bag. My father came holding my lunch box and the first thing he did after putting it into my school bag was scanning me from top to bottom and then bottom to top with a blank face and then shouted “ain’t you able to bend and polish your shoes or your mother will do it?”  At that time, I didn’t have the privilege of giving an ‘oh fuck!’ reaction neither did I know about it.

I went blank for a second and then shouted “mom where is the shoe polish and brush?” because she was the only one to whom I can talk like this or can show what I go through when I am not able to do certain things. Though I got a “how horrifying and dumb this kid is” expression from my father and then he left me in the trouble. A second later, my mother shouted back from the kitchen and said “It’s there only, in the cupboard beneath the staircase”. I went to the staircase and after 2minutes of searching in the cupboard and it was more than the time enough to check a 4*6 cupboard with three shelves but I didn’t find it. I again shouted in frustration “mom I can’t find it, please come and check,” and my mother replied by shouting on me with an exponential power of her voice. That’s what you get when you’re dumb alone in a group of smart people. “Get it by yourself, it would be there, yesterday itself I put it there” she shouted and “these three men will never let me sip my tea in peace” she added. I tried to find it for one more minute but didn’t and moved to drawing room in frustration where my mother was sitting with her tea in her hands and listening to her morning bhajans. “Mom is it more important for you to sit and listen to this usual bhajan, please get me the shoe brush,” I said and took a breath. I was expecting another taunt in the daily dose but my mother stood and came to me with her cup in her one hand. She put her other hand on my head and adored my hair and it wasn’t love at all, it was messing my hair which I tried to make good. I don’t know what has happened to my mother but she took me to the staircase and pointed out in between the side railing of the fourth staircase just above the cupboard and said, “see here it is, can’t you see,” I was upset with that. “How could she do this to me? She told me that it was in the cupboard but it wasn’t.” I thought. I conveyed this to her at the same moment. It was ruthless for me. My mother smiled at me and said, “I asked you to look in the cupboard and it doesn’t mean you can’t look here and there.

It was right there, in front of your eyes but you were trying to find it where it was instructed to you. You would have used your brain when the second time I asked you to look there and would have probably got It.” she made my hair with her fingers and asked me to polish my shoes fast and then she followed me to the bus stop. At that instant, it was really tough for me to understand what my mother was trying to say but now I understand it.

That’s how humans are, we have a particular set of instructions in our head on which we run our lives. We got it from our experiences and the life lessons people taught us in our life. Our present is totally biased towards our past and we notice things and observe them with the ability which we got from our past. We try to find happiness in the places where we have been taught or heard that it is there. We go straight or what we want and I guess, that’s how it must work and we never try to find it in the places which are still unnoticed, which is different from our past observations. It’s right in front of our eyes and probably looking at us smiling, or laughing on our disability of not finding it. But don’t you think it’s bad? It’s bad how we try to look for things only in the places we thought we could find it, in the person in whom we thought it’s hidden, how could we be so sure about it, how could we manage to get it the definite place where nothing is definite.

Probably, this is the reason a lot of us are running behind people and things which don’t have what they want, most of them don’t even know what they want but they are still running. One could wait and think what they want and where they will get it. One can’t find it even after searching for life in the empty cupboard just because they didn’t try to notice it above it or somewhere else. A lot of us try to look again and again in the same empty cupboard for what they want. It’s dumb; it’s dumb to look in an empty space again. Better try to find things in the uncertainty of life. In the places, one couldn’t try to notice. Find it in yourself, find it by yourself. Because there are chances that you may not find someone to tell you that you are running a blind race with enlightened hopes. Figure it out.

Thanks for reading

Udit Gour

#life #memories #childhood #short #story #experience #shortstory

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Childhood Memory (part-1)

Remember the incidents from your childhood?

I am going to share one of mine here and probably you all might have experienced it in your childhood.

It’s the story of me as a foodie and my beautiful mother. My mom is a dexterous cook and in winters she used to cook carrot based sweet dessert pudding (Gajar Ka Halwa) for me. And it’s a heavenly experience to eat it after all it’s one of my favourite dishes. Any which way, it’s mouth-watering dish and with mom’s love it’s just inexpressibly amazing. (maa ke hath ka khana ab bs khate rehjana).

As a jolly kid I used to eat it before it came to dining table. Even while it was still cooking I used to go into the kitchen and eat it quietly. At least for the sake of tasting I used to be there, right!

One day, when Mom was cooking it she asked me to stand near the kitchen counter and stir it after every 5minutes and she strictly instructed me not to even touch it as few of my father’s colleagues were visiting us that day. But was it possible for me to not to taste it? Of course, not! My hands reached the spoon and I ate a spoon full of uncooked pudding and guess what? What it did to my mouth? It burnt my mouth but it was tasty. So, I took one more spoon full of pudding and this time after waiting for a little time to make it less warm I ate it and I did this for several times and as my mom reached the pudding was about to be cooked and she found the quantity half of what she thought it could be.

“You ate it again even after I warned you,” my mom shouted in anger.

“But mom I just tasted it,” I whispered.

“Don’t lie to me, I saw you eating,” she exclaimed.

“You weren’t there mom,” I said and smile.

“And you just found guilty my son,” she said and smiled.

“Mom, I didn’t,” I said and tried to make a puppy face.

“It’s ok, son. But you will get a punishment and as I just had words with your father and he said his friends aren’t coming today now you have to help me finishing it.”

I smiled and hugged my mother and we both ate it after dinner.

You were thinking it isn’t a big deal and I must be happy about that; of course. Alas! there’s a twist my friend.

Let’s Just get back to the when it happened.

“You weren’t there mom,” I said and smile.

“And you just found guilty my son,” she said and smiled.

“Mom, I didn’t,” I said and tried to make a puppy face.

“It’s ok, son. But you will get a punishment and you won’t get any more of it to eat tonight, not even a spoon and as I just had word with the maid and she isn’t coming so you have to help me with all these utensils.” She said and left for the hall. Despite trying hard to convince my mom I got a little bowl of pudding to eat. And my half of the time was spent with the dishes and bowls while all the people in my house watched TV.

You must be thinking, it is so minuscule but you didn’t see the message coming there. You get things right in your life, things to live happily with, people to go out, the ones care for you, always be there for you, the ones who never complain and if they do they explain, the people who always forgive you and never notice your harshness over them and even if they do, they understand. They always uplift you in your life, and this is all you need and all of these ingredients make life heavenly delicious. The ones who helps you get over animosity, sometimes slowly and completely or sometimes just by distracting you from the unpleasant taste of your mouth. You may find them while tasting all the eye catching food, in between the best cuisines, charmingly designed starters, in mouth-watering desserts and also when you just tasted the bitter lemon, when you just got the chilly stuck on your tongue, or when you ate rotten tomato. But what you do? In your good times you forget to care about them and when you find them during the worst of your life you take them for granted.

You start consuming them even before they are completely able to heal you, even before they become the best for you, before getting the real taste, you start making them the rest.

Sometimes not being in the knowledge of their taste or sometimes just to avoid the bitterness you are going through in your life or trying to kill it, you start consuming all the sweetness and maybe you get hurt initially but there are some cases where you should let them get them prepared, where they come to their real complete deliciousness but there are chances that you might lose time, and you might or might not get the chance to taste the delightful them. I regretted that night, not getting to eat my favourite dish, but I learnt one of the most generous lessons of life.

We all get into the situations like this and it is ok to balance the bitterness with sweetness, hatred with love, sadness with happiness, good with bad and it actually helps us in maintaining our life but it’s not ok when even after consuming all the good things in our life but still getting stuck to the bad.

I know it’s hard to get over the bitterness but even the sugar has the tendency to get dissolved and you can enjoy it only when you get over the other. And the best thing is that it’s in your hand what you like to choose after all, you only set your priority.

Share your views.

Thanks for reading.

Udit gour (@udit.gour)

Strangersthought.wordpress.com

#childhood

#memories

#experiences

#motivation

#story

The Mysteries of Realisation {Part 4}

Hello, people.

How have you been all these days?

I know it is really an undisciplined behavior and I am really sorry for that. I am not getting time to write. Precisely, I am not getting time to post the write-ups. So, in case, if you were waiting for any other part of “The mysteries of realisation” your wait is over, I am here with the fourth installment. Hope, you all like it. Also, I request you to tell me about how you feel about the series. What are your realisations? It will help me a lot to write more on the same.

I know those who are reading this blog will think about me like a crap. But if you don’t, believe me. This is real and you do not belong to this particularly.

How do we make sure that the people around us are good? Good enough to trust. Good enough to rely on. Good enough to believe. Good enough that they will always with you. Ok! Not always but the time they will be with you, you people will enjoy for sure. They will never judge you wrong. They will know you. And here, I am not talking about understanding; it’s a far cry, but knowing is something we do need and the people around us should know. We should have mutual knowledge. And if they know you pretty well, they know your good and bad, don’t you think they should have the knowledge that you haven’t done anything wrong and even in case if you did, they know it and they know it was a coincidence and you were right at the first place, and even if not this, you can be trusted to be harmless at least. And what if even after being the right person they leave you with shitty reasons and sometimes without any reason?

I always used to say that there are the consequences of coincidences which always makes you but, there are people to destroy it, to destroy you at least mentally. I always suggest to learn from the coincidences but you should not be misunderstood by others. You don’t need to ruin things, you don’t need to play fool. There are enough people to do that for you. 

Once someone asked me why do we need people? I didn’t have had the answer to it but from my experiences, I said, “We don’t need people.” At the personal stage, we really don’t need people but we need bonds, who can understand us, who can add up the joy to our lives, with whom even the dead moments feels alive. Perhaps, we need people to acknowledge us, to acknowledge what we do. But still, I don’t have an appropriate answer for that question. If someone has please do tell me.

They always taught me to socialize and every time I did, I found it was better to be isolated. At least there’s no one to bother you with their nasty thoughts.

Being a stranger is better than being someone they know but don’t realise the virtuous.

The fourth mystery of realisation is people. They are a real enigma. It’s like you need to reach the black hole to discover its force. And the day you will find its existence you will probably be drowned in it leaving your existence back. No, they are not that attractive but there are some disruptive. And some are like the sun enlighting your days and some like the stars and the moon illuminating the darkness of your life.  I hope you do have good people around you. Don’t lose them in any case. People are one of the most precious entities you can have. Respect them. This blog doesn’t have an ending but I hope you will tolerate it. Please write your comments about the series and the blog. You can also DM me on Instagram.

 

The mysteries of Realisation(Part 3)

Hello people, how you have been these days? Sorry, I couldn’t write you from a long span. Time is an issue and that’s why I am here with the third part of “The mysteries of Realisation”

Hope you all will like it because it’s important.

Do you know the importance of things? Of course, Yes! If you didn’t get them at the right time. You recognise the importance of yours when you get wrong things happens at the wrong time. And this recognition is worst. Knowing the situations better than what your little brain can handle is not a sign of maturity. It is just a shit you get from your experiences. Sometimes, I think where every time I think what I haven’t seen the things? What if I realised it later that my little brain isn’t enough to grab the things which are ready to engross me in them. You guys know it very well, everyone has a story and some have stories. The stories of theirs, the stories of others, some keep them alive in mind where some simply die with them. I guess I don’t belong to both of them. While writing the first chapter of “The Mysteries of Realisations” I thought of writing a lot on the topic. I had it all. The topic, the content. But it was the time when I got a new realisation which resisted me to write. It was “Time.”

Everything happens because they are meant to happen. I believed in that philosophy and it helped me a lot in my survival. But everything happens, not only because they are meant to but also because it’s the right time to get challenged. Every time, when you will be high (of course not on weeds) there will be something stabbing you to dive down. In the best time, you will find the worst and I guess it’s the labyrinth of life I always talk about. I have heard so many talking about their bad time. No, it doesn’t mean they never had a good time. But it’s the time which never affects. You can get a conclusion from there. It is: happiness never affects you.

Meanwhile, sadness twitch you to attempt things everyone has heard of! Time taught me a lot, and now it’s the time I don’t want to see more. Maybe it isn’t time’s fault but somewhere something happened at the same time it shouldn’t be.

But what should I do with the realisation of the wrong time? I have had the same feeling for a good time too. When I was on the way to get it, I got tangled in my thoughts. It always goes the same.

“Darkness isn’t the reason of my fear anymore, happiness is.”

Me: Something is going to be good.

Time: Oh, wait! Let me show you the worse you can handle.

ME: But… I am able to handle it. Oh! Clever.

Time: Wait I will give you more threats in the meantime.

ME: But I can’t live through it.

Time: Then! Do die.

Me: Thank you made it simple for me. 

Time: Oh! Sorry. I won’t let you die. Held this string of life and every time you will think of dying I will jerk you, coward.  

Time isn’t simple but if it would be we people ain’t remember it. So, let’s have what time wants and let’s challenge it. We can’t give up to get our beautiful destinations. Doesn’t matter what time let us see. Doesn’t matter what time let us hear. Doesn’t matter how cursedly it plays with are. We can get what we want. We will get it for sure.

Don’t give up in a mid. Wait! Even the earth wait till the evening to meet her destination at the horizon. And if there are clouds try to shear them and look, or wait for the next day, after rains you will find it and you will get it with a new glory.

Time is one of the prized things we have. But everyone face the hard one; sooner or later. Some simply go through it and some go through it but they take a part of a hard time with them. No one knows, what’s going in someone’s life. We should respect what is coming out of the time. Can’t we help each other in growing or is it important grow alone? No, alone doesn’t mean sick of solitude, it means being aloof with senses of cruelty. And hope isn’t the bean of my bag when it comes to other people. I can’t expect them to be good enough and I am sure the phase we are leaving and where we are leading to isn’t good for hoping. So, better we don’t build any hope. But we can build our self. We can build our self to handle the time in our fist. We can try to emancipate our bad stories not as an experience but as a healthy tale of knowledge. We can try to help other in their bad time. And helping doesn’t only mean giving them a hand or a shoulder, it can be by simply greeting them, it can be by that simply enthusiastic “HEY, How are you?”

We don’t need efforts and I have learned this that even a simple greeting can put a smile on someone’s face. I know, it’s hard. But it pays the efforts off. Even you will find a joy, doesn’t matter how bitter your situations are. Try it. We can build a healthy environment and we really need it in the meantime. Laughing on others by their worse time may give you a joy in that moment but a greeting will give you a friend and joy for life. I know Life is uncertain, you can’t be good every time but “don’t let the uncertainty of your thoughts affect people and relations.”

When it comes to the uncertainty; it is unconfined. So does the time. We live in an uncertain world so why don’t we challenge it with the uncertainty of our thoughts. I know, an uncertain mind is near to curse but there are mystic things which can be used in a manner to get the life. We can be unpredictable for the time. We can amuse with it. But you need to control the uncertainty in a positive manner. Even the best magic can kill the sorcerous if uncontrolled.

Don’t ruin the time. Hope you didn’t while reading this. All the best! keep Shinning.

The Mysteries of Realisation(part2)

So, here is the first mysterious realisation.
The first mysterious realisation is “ATTACHMENT.” When did you found that you are so close to someone or you are attached to someone or you are in a particular relation with them? Well, it’s a sort of unconfined things, we can’t find them out. It’s so hard to know that we are attached to someone though it cherish us and this cherishment dramatically emphasise us. We don’t even realise it but it’s one of the reason because of which we start doing so many things which are not important in ideal conditions like judging, predicting, persecuting etc.
As our life is real, normal people often do these things but isn’t it wrong? Well, it’s not my first matter of concern, I will tell you about this later on.
We get attached without having the senses of attachments but life teaches us a lot and the first thing I understood was temporariness. Everything is temporary and this temporariness is essential to destroy us permanently and attachments are only the spices we put into life to increase its taste and other half is so known to everyone and if not, you will know it by yourself just give life some chances.
These spices destroy our life system, sometimes later and sometimes early. But we can’t live without these spices even with the knowledge that one day we will find these spices sour and dull. We can’t let them out, we can’t live without them, we don’t even add them sometimes but they appears and there are certain attachments we crave for. Even with the taste of our bitter experiences always we have some longings for attachments and relations.
Is it a problem to have the attachments?
My answer is “NO.” There is no problem in having attachments or in creating a new one. We can’t live like a monolith. We need certain attachments in life because they always add something, doesn’t matter what they add but in each case, you will learn but this learning is a realisation of something which brings you up in a whole different way. It has the power of making you an evil not for others but for yourself. Once you will get the realisation of the temporariness of attachments you will run away from it or you will run for it. It’s like the law of nature as I mentioned in my last blog “opposite attracts.” You don’t need to do anything for the attachments, our efforts are useless. Yes, you can try to get attached to things and maybe you will succeed in it but it will reach the doom’s day soon because forced attachments can’t be handled for a long time.
So, what we can do for it? “Nothing” is an appropriate answer but we can do one thing; appreciate. We can appreciate what is coming up to us and I know it’s theoretically nice and would be appreciated only in the books but we can try it for sure.
“There are things out of our fist,
ATTACHMENTS are important because,
Can you imagine your life without heart breaks and lovable twists?
They happen mysteriously,
They get emancipated mysteriously,
We are never prepared for aches life will give us.
If we will think about them a lot, at last, they will depress us.
So, better we just assume to be happy in every case,
Because law of nature says everything has an end,
One day, everyone will come across the situation to leave you,
And for sure, it doesn’t mean you become alone or to be numb you pretend.
Appreciate the mysteries of ATTACHMENTS and live your life accepting them,
Oh! Wait. Think once before getting an attachment if you really mean it or there are so many things in your life which the mysteries of realisation will fetch.”
Once you will realise these things you will alter your life for sure. You will stop being attached to things and people in general. Your attitude will become slightly cold-blooded or completely. You will start judging people and you know the worst part of judging? As being a human, we judge the unknowns on the knowledge of known. So, be careful about your judgements. Don’t be afraid about ATTACHMENTS. Just live in the moment and respect what you have. No matters, how cursed you get, you still have the worth. No matters, how life has crumbled you, how circumstances grounded you, after all the facts and drama, attachments still worth the same.
Think once.
Hope you have got my point and if you haven’t, you can ask me questions regarding the blog on Instagram (@udit.gour) or here in the comment section.

Yet I am confused

Hello, people. The stranger is here with a confused, a bit strange and a bit weird blog.
It started when I was in 6th. For the first time, I have made a science model.
Most of you guys judged me with my first sentence that how normal I am talking everyone could have done this. Yes, you all are right. There was a science model presentation for which my project didn’t get the appreciation either. I was supposed to be sad and I was. For a kid like me who rarely talk with people, it was quite unbearable but there was someone who was standing like a monolith. Who supported me through whole my journey. He was my dad. That day he told me one thing I remember the exact, it was, ‘we never fail son, we only win or get experience’. It was very deep thought for the kid studying in 6th standard. For the time, I managed to run through the time. The very next year again the competition held again my model was not selected but this time it was like normal for me to understand that there are so many people who stand above your life. Quite demotivating line but ok for the situation. Next year, again I created a model and as the last two years the thing I got was the failure but this I weren’t motivated nor demotivated, I just evolved myself that where the model is lacking. There is something which always leads me to the failure and what I found was shocking.
I failed every time because the thing I created was unique, it was enormous, complex for people and clearly not something mere. So, next time when I started working on a new project I tried to make it simple and as per the normal guidelines created by our respected freaking teachers but this time I was out from the competition because the category in which I was presenting the project was not the part of competition anymore. It took me four years to understand why I have got failed every time.
In 10th, finally, I got a chance to present my project from my school. In this attempt, I reached the maximum level of competition which was the national level science competition and secured the 2nd position there. I could be the first but there was an issue I can’t tell you right now.
If you are reached here, probably, you were thinking why this guy is spreading shit about his life. So, here I tell you my point. It took me 4 years and more to decide and clarify that I belong to the science stream. Science is my passion. I love to create, believe in practical. Yes, I do it today also. With average grades, I passed my 12th and opt for mechanical engineering.
In between those two years of life. I changed completely. A lot of stuff I have gone through. As a normal, I faced almost every situation sometimes softly sometimes hardly but it changed me again. It took me four years to select my loving stream and in 2years I got a new thing to be in. It was management and literature. I started taking part in and as managing body in events, curricular etc. I started reading novels. It was a new thing for me and I was enjoying it. As I reached the second stage I needed to decide for the next step. Which carrier do I choose? Should I prepare for GATE, CAT, GRE, GMAT, IES, etc. or should I do the thing I love the most? Again I needed to discriminate between two things management and literature.
Options always make your life simpler but in my case I want it to be précised and clear. I don’t like options but life always creates. Not everyone gets options in life. Not everyone gets an opportunity to choose what they want to do.
But it’s always difficult to choose between your priorities where you love two things the same.
And yet I am confused.

There are only few you remember the most

There are so many pages in a book but there are only few you remember the most….

Sometimes, the one you don’t need to.. 

and sometimes the one you want to tore, 

the one which you wetted while reading and the one which roasted your soul utmost…. 

Sometimes, the one you talk about happily but cry somewhere deep..

and the one you fought with or laugh on without any weep.


laugh on without any weep….